summer break

Thanks to everyone who has visited the site so far and special thanks to all the commenters.

a picture is worth a thousand beers

they don't shoot 'em like they used to

it's time for everyone's favorite game...gang member, or nfl player?

The latest story out of the NFL that doesn't involve Brett Favre (yes, there actually is one) is that the league has decided to hire "experts" to watch player celebrations and determine if they are using "gang signs." What exactly constitutes a gang sign? Does the Dirty Bird count? Unfortunately, the NFL is arriving late to the athlete-gang sign party, tennis was already there 6 years ago. And who are these so-called experts? Jumbo? Dig Dug? Low Down Lemar? I think we're going to need gang sign review challenges.

what if vijay was a flounder

This (horrifying/hilarious) picture of Vijay Singh is from a CNBC documentary about video games. It's the scanned 3D image of Vijay's head and face before it's put on a computer model for EA Sports Tiger Woods PGA Tour. Where can I find everyone else's splattered head photos? I need to see more of these.

you might be a backup quarterback if...

Video of Aaron Rodgers offering to autograph some kid's football during a celebrity golf tournament in Lake Tahoe this past weekend. Not only does the kid not want his autograph, he recoils in fear when Rodgers approaches him. Ouch. Yup, still not the starting quarterback.

darkmane really shaun white?

The commercials running for the X-Games this summer are featuring an X-Games villain of sorts named "Darkmane." This character looks like it could be Shaun White in a ridiculous costume. If you look at the style, shape, and texture of the hair in both pictures it is very similar. This would mean that his trademark "Flying Tomato" red hair has been died black. This scenario is likely because: A. Shaun White has grown tired of the nickname Flying Tomato (as he has pointed out in interviews) and was probably looking for a way to get rid of it, and B. ESPN would love to have the publicity stunt of White having dyed his hair during the X-Games because it's basically the Shaun White-Games. He's the only "extreme" athlete with true mainstream appeal and ESPN knows it. There's also this blog post on Darkmane's "myspace page" which says Shaun White has been on TV recently with fake hair. Hmmmm......

this kid can drink corey hart's daughter under the table

Watch carefully...is it me or are they starting younger and younger these days?

and you thought red sox fans were crazy

Cubs fans are taking it a little too far...

paul pierce's nickname isn't "the truth", it's "the f*cking truth"

Boston Celtics shooting guard and NBA Finals MVP (yup, I really just wrote that) Paul Pierce appeared on Late Night with Conan O'Brien this past Thursday night. One of the first things Conan asked him about was where he got the nickname "The Truth." Pierce revealed that about 7 years ago he played a game in L.A. against the Lakers in which he scored over 40 points, and after the game when Shaq was quoted as saying "that guy Pierce, he's the f*cking truth." Pierce made a point of explaining that the original nickname was not just "the truth", but "the bleeping truth." What I want to know is who made Shaq the official nickname giver or the NBA? First this, then he decides Dwyane Wade should be called "Flash." Could there be a more unoriginal and generic nickname for an athlete? Last time I checked Dwyane Wade wasn't a 1950's comic book hero. Shaq, if you're going to hold this responsibility, then you've got to do better. And that's the bleeping truth.

never dine in fear again

Chief's tight end Tony Gonzales phoned into Sportscenter last night to share his harrowing tale of saving someone from choking. Gonzales said it was his "first time, I have never done the Heimlich before." Good to know. According to Gonzales, no one in the restaurant was doing anything when the guy started choking, so he jumped up and ran over to save the day. Pro athletes, is there anything they can't do?

your giambi stache update: 7/3

Hey, if they keep showing extreme close ups of the stache on ESPN, then I have no choice. It looks slightly more menacing in this photo from last night. I guess it's mystical powers are working though, he hit a grand slam in the game.

it's almost too easy

Some custom art for you to enjoy. I would stop making fun of him, but when this face pops up on my TV screen last night, well...

slam dunks, mullets, and girl-dog action on a tuesday night

Anyone who tuned to ESPN2 last night to check out the 2008 City Slam 3-Point, Skills, and Dunk Contest was probably ready to see some ridiculous 720 spinning slams along with some kind of high-jump dunk hybrid event, but thanks to a programming mix-up they were stuck with...The 2008 American Kennel Club World Agility Championships? Really ESPN? Could you possibly have picked two demographics that were further apart? At least the Kennel Club Championships provided this gem, the mullet-filled celebration between owner Joan Meyer and her dog "Neil" (your dog is a world class athlete, and all you could come up with was "Neil"?). You might wonder which gets more grooming attention, the dog or that glorious mullet.

your giambi stache update

(Insert 70's porn joke here)

these are your fans: toronto

Introducing a new feature where we look at pictures of funny looking fans in the crowd. Is it juvenile? Yes. Is it mean-spirited? Yes. Is it funny? Yes. These are your fans Toronto.

that sounds familiar

Celtics fans, who does this clip remind you of? Wait for it...

what's in a name

This article does a good job of summing up the meaning behind the title of this blog.

"In recent years, "it is what it is" has supplanted "giving 110 percent" and "taking them one game at a time" as the reigning sports cliché. Even as Clemens testified Wednesday about the palpable mass on his buttocks, "it is what it is" took a star turn in the other big sports story of the day, the trade of Jason Kidd to the Dallas Mavericks. When asked about the pending deal, Kidd's teammate Vince Carter shrugged it off: "Right now, it is what it is." As it turned out, the proposed blockbuster trade hit a snag. One of the minor pieces in the transaction, Dallas forward Devean George, exercised a no-trade clause in his contract, to the great aggravation of Mavs fans. "It's all coming down on me, and I am being thrown to the wolves," George griped to reporters, "but it is what it is." - Doug McCollam

"hippie olympics, doesn't matter who wins cause they're all losers"

I haven't seen Frisbee footage this sweet since the intermural finals scene between Jerrytown and the Womynists in PCU. Check out this highlight reel from the 2008 Collegiate Nationals UPA Ultimate Championships. Some radical throws and catches went down.

i think that means bunt

Ah, the dugout camera shot. Giving us such timeless classics as the nose pick, the crotch scratch/grab combo, and of course the two finger salute, demonstrated here by Cubs closer Kerry Woods.

did i mention sam cassell is ugly?

This is one of the championship Boston Celtics T-Shirts available online. Is there a better one than this? I'd like to see it. Although, I think the faces could have been arranged a little better. Why is Pollard down in the first row with the starting five? And why is Posey all the way in the back row with Pruitt, Powe and the alien Cassell (speaking of which, when your caricature looks more like a normal human being than your actual face, something is not right.) Eddie House directly in the middle appears to be Paul Peirce's face just flipped around in the other direction. C'mon. It's still a sweet shirt anyway. T-Shirts are sweet.

smithers, why is that man in pink?

For once a completely ridiculous and worthless item didn't sell for way too much money on eBay. It sold for way too much money the old-fashioned way, on the radio! The dress shirt worn by Doc Rivers when Paul Pierce gave him the historic Gatorade bath was auctioned off this past week for charity. Bidders called into the Dennis and Callahan show to try and win the pink-stained shirt. The winner paid $35,000 for the shirt (autographed by Rivers and Pierce) and the actual Gatorade bucket. The winning bid beat out many other people including...Bill Parcells? According to the WEEI producer's blog, the Tuna called in with a bid of $20,000. Was he just joking around or did he seriously want the shirt?

"Well another crazy day at the Dennis and Callahan Show. When Bill Parcells called in at 8:15a to bid 20 grand on the Doc Rivers Gatorade shirt the bidding really took off. One funny note, when I answered the hotline and it was Bill Parcells, I was so excited to hear from him I said, “Hey coach.“ His answer was great -- “That coach title is obsolete.“ So I said, “Well then good morning Mr. Vice President of Football Operations.“ He laughed and I was beeming. Call me a loser but making The Big Tuna laugh is pretty cool in my book."-Iggy/WEEI.com

celtics draft bobby budnick and gerald green 2.0

The Celtics drafted shooting guard J.R. Giddens out of New Mexico with the 30th pick and center Semih Erden (photo) out of the Turkey with the 60th pick this Thursday night. Doc Rivers said in an NBA TV interview tonight that he thinks Giddens "can be a defender in this leauge right now." Semih Erden is said to be a few years away from being NBA ready. ESPN said his area of improvement needs to be "motivation"...really? You need to be motivated to make millions of dollars? Here are the DraftExpress.com and NBA.com profiles for each guy along with some video footage.

J.R. Giddens DraftExpress
J.R. Giddens NBA.com

Semih Erden DraftExpress
Semih Erden NBA.com

J.R. Giddens dunk montage


a crazy flying airwalk in-game dunk (turn down the volume)


Semih Erden furious lanky white guy dunk


He's kind of a big deal in Gaziosmanpasa

centre court encounters of the third kind

As a new alternative to setting your money on fire, The Sun is reporting that you can now place a Wimbledon prop bet with Skybet.com for odds of 200-1 that a UFO will land on the court. Or for odds of 250-1 you could wager that a British woman will win Wimbledon in the next five years. That's right, it's more likely for the aliens to show up.

hey remy, smoke another marby red and chill out

Apparently Red Sox color commentator and Marlboro chain smoker Jerry Remy has some beef with the new help. "NESN connections" are saying that Remy is not happy about the hiring of Heidi Watney as NESN sideline reporter. This is because she "knows nothing about baseball." Really? I'm shocked. Hey Remy, have you watched any sports on TV in the past 10 years? What did you think sideline reporters do?

"I thought that maybe the relationship between Don Orsillo and Remy was fraying, but a friend of mine with NESN connnections says that Jerry is upset about the hiring of Heidi Watney. According to my source, Heidi knows nothing about baseball. From what I've seen during telecasts, she just introduces taped pieces, which either Don or Jerry could do just as well."- BaseballMusings.com

shaq, please don't compare yourself to biggie

how have i not heard about this before?

This is how we do it in Portland, Maine. From the official site of Zombie Kickball:
"We will only be using WAKA's official rules as loose guidelines. For instance, WAKA requires that players kick the ball with their feet. We will allow hobbled zombies to use any intact body part to move the ball - in fact, dismembered parts of other bodies will also be allowed."

boxing needs more super slow-mo cameras

This clip is from the Andre Berto vs. Miguel Rodriguez fight last night on HBO. Berto is an up-and-coming prospect with good power and decent technique. He's never really been tested by anyone very good in his young career, but he has mostly dominated the weaker opponents that have been placed in front of him. This brutal uppercut in the 7th round resulted in the first knockdown of the fight, and it was stopped shortly after.

goodbye zaza

The Kevin Garnett screen on Zaza Patchouli Oil...I mean Pachulia. One of the top 10 moments from the 2008 Playoffs. Another thing that makes this clip so awesome is how Breen, Van Gundy, and Jackson (can we just call them Breen Van Jackson from now on?) spend a minute and a half breaking down the hit and completely defending it. And yes Pachulia looks like Marilyn Manson.

just when you though UFC dudes couldn't get any dumber

For all those people who think that getting punched in the head repeatedly isn't that bad for you, I submit for your approval: Jesse Taylor. As a cast member of The Ultimate Fighter season 7, Taylor made it all the way to the final fight, the winner of which gets a "six-figure contract" with the UFC. Of course, he couldn't wait a couple days before going buckwild in the ring, so he decided to take out his rage (possibly of the roid variety?) on unsuspecting limosuines and female gamblers in Las Vegas.

"After the show had completed taping some of the fighter's stayed an extra day to have some fun and quite a bit of that fun ended up on security cameras. The footage showed JT kicking out a window in a limousine and then storming into the Palace Station casino where according to security guards he began "terrorizing female guests." When he was approached by security he became even more aggressive and went to the "do you know who I am" card." - Brawl Sports

You really dropped the "do you know who I am" bomb? Maybe we would have if you hadn't blown the single biggest opportunity in your meaningless life. When you're getting kicked off a show that happily encourages the cast members to smash each other's faces in, you've really accomplished something. Apparently, Taylor thought his punishment was "a bit harsh." Oh really? Maybe you're just a bit of an idiot.

kg's favorite tv show

You might not be surprised to learn that Kevin Garnett barely watches TV. But you probably would be surprised to learn to the one show he does watch is...Family Guy? After being asked if he had seen the "I Remember" Celtics commercial, Garnett responded "Absolutely, it's one of my favorites, and I don't even watch that much TV. Only Family Guy...and I think that's it." Also this clip is from the NBA TV feed of the press conference, so it includes KG's "Go Celtics...shit" comment at the end that was cut off by all the other broadcasts.

sega genesis game correctly predicts nba finals

It's amazing what technology can do. Who would have thought that back in 1990 a Sega Genesis game could predict what would happen in the 2008 NBA Finals? Yet that is what appears to have happened if you read the hilarious videogamecritic.net review for Lakers Vs. Celtics and the NBA Playoffs on the Sega Genesis. Some examples from the review are included below:

How the games looked-
"the wood surface looks realistic, the lanky players perform their famous "signature" moves, and coaches pace the sidelines."

Mark Jackson playing third wheel to the Breen/Van Gundy combo-
"...anchors at a desk who comment on the game via scrolling text. Actually, the black guy never says anything, but he does crack a smile periodically and it looks hilarious."

The Celtics dominating in defensive style games-
"compared to modern basketball games, Lakers Vs. Celtics is slow and choppy, and it takes a while to run the length of the court."

The Celtics defense limiting Kobe and the Lakers offsense-
"there's no turbo or crossover move, so it's nearly impossible to penetrate to the hoop."

The questionable officiating-
"sometimes a player will score even when the ball clearly didn't pass through the hoop."

The Staples Center atmosphere-
"and for goodness sake, turn OFF that blaring music that plays nonstop during the game."

The Staples Center crowd-
"...a crowd that's dead silent until you score."

And finally it sums up the entire series-
"Lakers Vs. Celtics definitely shows its age, but if you accept its limitations it's still worthwhile."

the 617 conspiracy?

The Celtics won title number 17 in 6 games, won on 6/17, and won in 617 (Boston area code). This was pointed out by ESPN's Bill Simmons in his post-finals column and it just struck me as something strange, although he does stretch it a little bit. How many websites will be started based on this conspiracy in the next few weeks? Maybe 617?

"If you're a numerology buff, then you'll enjoy this one: Game 6 was played on June 17 -- in other words, "6" (the number for June, as well as the number of games in the Finals) and "17" (the number of Boston championships if you include one for 2008). Two of the four greatest Celtics of all-time -- Bill Russell and John Havlicek -- wore "6" and "17," respectively. And if you add 6+1+7, you'd get "14," the number worn by Bob Cousy, another one of the four greatest Celtics ever. (If you want to really stretch it, 3 + 3 = 6, and "33" was worn by Larry Bird, the fourth in the "greatest Celtics ever" group.) If that's not enough, the area code for Boston is "617." And on a somber note, the 1986 draft happened June 17 -- really, the last day the Celtics felt like they were invincible. I don't know what all of this means, but it means something, right?" - Bill Simmons

top of the world

"what can you say now?"

nba finals game 6: boston 131 - l.a. 92

even more reasons marshawn lynch is the man

Apparently Marshawn's signature game-winning celebration is to hijack the cart used to transport injured players and drive it around the field like a pimp. He did it a lot in college when he was at Cal. This is awesome. Wait...he's suspected of a hit-and-run? Hmmm....still awesome.

the next great sports video game

through the eyes of a lakers fan

Check out this Game 4 video taken from the nosebleed seats in the Staples Center (the only section where there might actually be some real fans...on second thought, probably not). The sound of dejection in their voices as the clock winds down and Ray Allen eventually seals the deal with a layup is glorious.

kobe breaks down his thirsty thursday

nba finals game 4: the rondo factor

So if the injured Rajon Rondo is able to play 35-40 minutes tonight, what does that mean for the Celts? Obviously if Rondo can't go we will probably be stuck with the brick-laying Sam Cassell who's shooting a whopping 33 percent from the field to go along with 0-4 from three point range in the Finals. However, having Rondo in the game isn't always a good thing. Yes, his 27 assists and 9.0 assists per game crush the next best passer in the finals (Kobe with 15 total assists/5.0 per game), but unless he's passing to a wide open Ray behind the arc, or to Powe directly under the basket, what good is it doing? Rondo can't finish consistently enough around the basket yet and he's essentially useless from beyond 15 feet. Don't get me wrong, it's easy to forget he's just a second year player, and I'm excited about his long term potential. I think he plays good defense and he's got great speed, but lately the offense just isn't flowing when he's in the game. The Celtics' two main offensive choices are either a Paul Pierce 360 fade-away hero shot, or the streaky KG 20-foot jump shot. Speaking of which, KG takes way too many jumpers, he needs to just dunk the ball more. Every time KG slams one down, it energizes the team and the entire crowd gets back into the game. A great dunk doesn't just score points, it sends a message. It seems like the Lakers figured out pretty early that all they had to do was take a defensive man off Rondo and stick a double team on Garnett, since Rondo pretty much craps his pants every time he's left open for a jumper. This is where Eddie House could be deadly. There's no way the Lakers can leave House open outside for shots, he's too quick and can catch fire. I won't even get my hopes up that Doc will finally figure this out. Here we go again, Game 4 tonight at 9pm ET.

-photo aol.nba.com

108th u.s. open: first round thoughts

-Chris Berman is repeatedly wishing everyone a "good morning" even though it's 1:00pm.

-And why is Berman even doing golf? This just makes me miss Nick Faldo's dry humor and awkward interactions with with Kelly Tilghman on the golf channel even more.

-At least we have Roger Maltbie in the booth with him, aka Tom Smykowski, creator of the "Jump to Conclusions" mat.

-Everyone who picked against Tiger (including myself) this week felt pretty smart after the double bogey on the first hole, but not so much after that. If the knee holds up then he's definitely in the mix, barring any disasters.

-As usual some no-name has jumped out to the early lead at -4, who the hell is Justin Hicks?

-Apparently Hicks (photo) is a Nationwide Tour vet, and he's only played in one PGA Tour event, the U.S. Open in 2004 in which he failed to make the cut. Hicks finished with a great score of -3, but it remains to be seen if he can keep it. How many hours of sleep do you think he'll get tonight?

-Phil looks pretty solid so far. He's going without a driver in the bag right now in favor of another wedge, which suits his game. And didn't something bad happen to Phil with a driver at the
U.S. Open sometime? I thought I heard something about that.

-It looks like Eric Axley's strategy is to blind his opponents with his pants before every shot. The day-glo yellow is intense. I just freeze framed him and cooked a hot pocket on the tv screen. It must be working so far, he's at -2 through 13 holes.

-Uh oh, just saw a slow motion replay of Tiger after his drive on 18, and you can clearly see him grimacing in pain after the shot. This face will definitely be analyzed with full breakdowns tomorrow by all the "experts".

-Phil's in with a round of even par on the day. Maybe if he wins this week maybe we'll get a crowd reaction as awesome as the one he received at Colonial two weeks ago.

-Tiger is in with a score of +1. Not great, but certainly acceptable considering the circumstances coming into the week.

-Now tied atop the leaderboard with Hicks, Kevin Streelman? Apparently it's his first year full time on the Pga Tour. He kind of looks like he could be Zach Johnson's slightly less smart brother.

-If the grouping of Tiger, Phil, and Adam Scott was a classic rock supergroup, who would they be? Maybe Crosby, Stills, & Nash with all the shaky relationships and bitterness? I'd have to go with Cream. In both groups of three there's one member who stands far above the rest (Clapton & Woods) and can be considered one of the best of all time at what they do and the other two guys, while also great themselves, will always be in the shadow of the first.

-photo miralle/pgatour.com

bangor, maine throws down at ufc 85

UFC 85: Bedlam went down this past weekend at the o2 Arena in London, and on the card was Mainer Marcus "The Irish Hand Grenade" Davis (right side in photo) . He fights out of Bangor, Maine and he was taking on Mike "Quick" Swick, a tough opponent at 170 pounds. Davis had won his past 6 fights in a row coming into Saturday's match-up and had shown good diversity ending fights by both knockout and submission. However he couldn't solve the puzzle that was Mike Swick, as Swick used his height advantage to keep him at a distance and do just enough to outwork him on the ground. Davis landed plenty of good shots but the fight wasn't the kind of stand-up slugfest that he needed it to be. By the end of the 3 round fight, Davis' face was cut open in numerous spots. He has improved and broadened his overall MMA skill set in each of his fights, and this hard-fought loss should help him to progress even further. Davis' record dropped to 19-4-0, and Swick improved to 11-2-0. Maine is well represented in the UFC with up-and-comer Davis as well as veteran fighter and former heavyweight champion Tim "The Maineiac" Sylvia.

-photo martin mcneil

at least jonathan ogden has something to fall back on

Baltimore Ravens offensive tackle and freak of nature Jonathan Ogden will be announcing his retirement this week after a 13 year career, and you can't help but wonder what career opportunities will be available for a 6'9", 345 pound giant. Thankfully pro athletes doing local commercials will never get old. By the way, gotta love the coked-out 80's disco theme music.

why marshawn lynch is the man (even if he ran over someone in his car)

Yeah, so maybe Buffalo Bills running back Marshawn Lynch is the prime suspect in a hit and run back on May 31, but I saw these videos before that happened. Anyway, besides having a great rookie season in 07 when he finished 11th overall in total rushing yards and rushing touchdowns, as well as 8th in yards per game (all while playing for the crappy Bills who had no quarterback), Lynch found time to express his fondness for "little green dudes...I mean orange dudes" and expose the pimptastic downtown Buffalo scene with Kenny Mayne.